go into a mental state pondering about morality, death, religion and if there is a god (plus whether belief in a better society helps change their mindset and if people "deserve" to go into heaven / reincarnation / "good place") , and the meaning of life while i cry to frank sinatra or john denver. also while that's happening i also beat myself up for being so lazy, spoiled and entitled while others have achieved so much more under the same or worse conditions as me, and even worse thinking about other people suffering, and how i take my privilaged life for granted.