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Marriage Counseling

Should they break up?


  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .

Marriage Counseling

Etshaw

Active member
EtshawYT
EtshawYT
Marriage Counseling


@Fictons and @xPumax_ it has come to my attention that you are having some trouble with your marriage. No Worries you've been arguing in VC 5 days this week for 24 hrs a day just sitting together and screaming. There is an easy way to fix this please read this:

Quote from
@noodles "I like pee however I do not condone this marriage."

Quote from @Atowclicker "I like feet. Please break up"

Quote from @HamOnABicycle "I like furries and I don't like this Marriage."

Please read below
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.

Ok well uh... That's enough I hope I fixed your marriage...
 
Narrator: Antarctica, an inhospitable wasteland, but even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life.Cue Private's egg revealed under the snow, which rolls over the snow.Narrator: And not just any life: penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...As the older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski, they move out of the way.Skipper: Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?Penguin #1: Who cares?Penguin #2: I question nothing.Penguin #3: Me, too.Penguin #4: Me, too.Skipper: Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.They flap their wings but cannot fly.Kowalski: Skipper, we appear to be flightless.Skipper: [looks at his wings] Oh, well, what's the point of these?Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five.Skipper: Whoa, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we going to call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.The egg rolls under the trio, flipping them over.Skipper: Hey! Anybody see that? That's an egg! Is someone gonna go get it?Penguin #5: We can't do that.Skipper: Why not?Penguin #6: Well, it's a dangerous world out there, and we're just penguins. You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.Penguin #7: Yeah. Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us?Zoom out a bit to see a cameraman and sound man recording the penguin line.Penguin #8: Well, sorry, kid. You know, we lose a few eggs every year. It's just nature.Skipper: Oh, right, nature. I guess that makes sense, but... something... something deep e still doomed.Skipper: And the, uh... other five percent?Kowalski: Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.Skipper: I'll take tesy Dibbles!Skipper: [gives Private a coin] Happy ding-dong birthday, ya little scamp!Private: Thank you.Private pecks Skipper on the cheek, followed by Kowalski, finally giving one to Rico, only for the latter to hold Private for ten seconds before releasing him. Cue Skipper, Kowalski and Rico smiling at Private with satisfaction.Skipper: You mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns, Private. Now hit that machine and get your present.Private tosses the coin into the machine and tries to reach in the slot to get the bag.Skipper: We just broke in the most secure facility in North America. Do you know what that means?Kowalski: We're wanted criminals who will be on the lam for the rest of their lives, always feeling the hot breath of Johnny Law on our necks?Skipper: No. It means, as elite units go, we're the elitist of the elite. Top shelf in the bureau. The penultimates. Plus one.As Private struggles to get the bag out of the vending machine he ends up getting pulled into the machine.Skipper: Where'd Private go?They walk over closer to the vending machine.Kowalski: Oh, there he is.The penguins notice that Private is stuck up in the machine.Kowalski: D3.Skipper: Oh, Private. How much is he?Kowalski: He's three dollars and fifty cents, sir.Skipper: Well, that's outrageous. Even for Private.Suddenly, an octopus tentacle comes out of the vending machine slot, grabs Rico and takes him into the machine.Kowalski: Sir, the machine is alive!The octopus tentacle comes out of vending machine again and takes Kowalski.Skipper: [angrily] Well, I don't think I like your attitude, vending machine. Or your prices! [in battle stance] Release them!The tentacle comes back out and grabs Skipper in.Skipper: Kowalski, analysis.Kowalski: All evidence indicates... [his stomach grumbles] Oooh, I ate too many Cheezy Dibbles.Private coughs out an orange cloud of dust.Skipper: We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. Rico, bust us out of this delicious prison.Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the door.Skipper: Nice work, Rico. You are a meaningful and valued member of this team.As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset. Then he looks at the paper clip Rico used, takes it and swallows it. He tries coughing it up, but no success.Skipper: [o.s.] Private, quit lollygagging. And regular gagging.Private: Sorry.Skipper: It's dark and ominous. Two of my least favorite traits in a room.Private: Ooh, look, a button!Skipper: Huh? Private, don't!Private pushes the button and the platform underneath them descends and they drop down to another room.Skipper: Now what have I told you about-Private: [presses another button] Sorry, what?A giant ray wheels to them and a laser pops out pointing at the penguins.Kowalski: It looks like some sort of giant laser sent to kill us all, sir.Skipper steps back from the laser's angle.Private: Ooh, another one!Skipper, Kowalski, Rico: NO!They stop Private from pushing the button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up.Dr. Octavius Brine: Naughty, naughty. Pretty birds belong in their cages.He is seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right.Penguins: Ew!Dr. Octavius Brine: Now, that's just hurtful. [untangles himself] And I was so happy to see you again, Skipper, [Skipper gasps] Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private. [flicks Private's beak] Boop!Skipper: Who are you?Dr. Octavius Brine: The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine. Renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives. But you know me by a different much older name. A name perhaps you'd hoped you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I amA purple octopus emerges from the costume of Dr. Brine.Dave: Dave!The penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine hairpiece on his head.Skipper: Kowalski?Kowalski: Sorry, sir. No clue.Dave: [takes off the hairpiece] Dave!!!Kowalski: Dave...Dave: Dave.Skipper: Dave?Dave: Dave.Private: Dave.Dave: Dave!Rico: [gibberish].Dave gives a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look to see a cricket doing the chirp, who then stops.Cricket: Sorry. [leaves then stops and turns] Wait, wait. Uh, I live this way. [leaves]Skipper: Go ahead, Dan, continue.Dave: You seriously don't remember me?Skipper: Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife?In response, Dave punches the wall above Skipper's head.Dave: I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget you. [grabs a snow globe and shakes it] Let's shake up some old memories. New York City. The Central Park Zoo. Life was good. Roomy tank, great location, monkey-house views. And, of course... my adoring legion of fans.Girl: Cool.Dave: Dave! The octopus of a thousand tricks.Boy: Awesome!Dave: I was the total package.Girl: Wow.Man: Hey, kids! You got to see this. Get up here quick!Woman: Come on, kids. Come on...Dave: And then you arrived.Man: Oh, they're so adorable!Skipper: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.Dave: And took everything from me.Woman: They're so cute!Girl: They're so adorable.Woman: Have you ever seen anything cuter?Dave: Four adorable baby penguins. With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore. "Out you go, Dave." And so it went, over and over, at zoo after aquarium.Kid: Dad, look!Man: I can't see the penguins, man! Whoo yeah!Dave: Adorable penguins stole the show. While I was shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted. Alone.Private: That sounds awful.Dave: Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get nothing! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for revenge! And my precious souvenir snow globe collection.Rico swallows the rest of Dave's snow globe collection.Dave: Ah! What is wrong with you?!Skipper: Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl, you can't blame us for what happened to you.Dave: Uh, can. That's how this whole revenge thing works. And with this, I finally have the power to destroy you.Private: Crikey!Dave: Nicolas, cage them.Skipper: I've got some bad news for you, Dennis. You messed with the wrong birds. Because we are an elite unit, the best of the best. Cream of the corn on a platinum cob. And we're gonna take your deadly green goop and sashay right out the exit hatch.Dave: And just how are you going to do that?Skipper: Deploy secret weapon.Dave: The cheese, it burns!Skipper: Roll out.Dave: After them!Skipper: All right, boys, it's just like Cuba. Taxi! How about some music? Something chase-y.Private: Here they come.Skipper: Let's move.Private: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke again! Stroke some more! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Sorry! Stroke! Stroke! We got baddies, six o'clock.Skipper: Kowalski, battle formation. So you squeegees want to do the gondola mambo? Let's dance. Mother-of-pearl, that stings! I've lost visual. Kowalski, be my eyes.Kowalski: Uh, left. Right, right! Up! Duck.Skipper: I think I got 'em.Kowalski: They are down, sir.Skipper: Excelente.Private: Skipper!Kowalski: They're back up. And we are running out of canal.Skipper: Parker Posey! Go all-terrain.Italian Man: Will you marry me?Skipper: We've lost engine one!Kowalski: And two and three.Private: Four!Skipper: Switch to emergency power.Private: Aye, aye, Skipper. We've got melons! Dead ahead!Skipper: I can see. Rico, the glowy thing! Venetian blinded again!Kowalski: We've been boarded.Skipper: Initiate self-destruct sequence. Nice.Private: Whee!Skipper: Frankly, I'm surprised we had a self-destruct sequence. All right, boys, battle stance.Kowalski: We're in battle stance, sir.Skipper: Oh. Okay, good. Now we uh, spring our trap.Kowalski: I'm not sure they're the ones that are trapped, sir.Skipper: Kowalski, remember our little talk about true but unhelpful comments?Kowalski: Yes, sir.Skipper: Sometimes we just have to wing it.Kowalski: Wow. Sorry for underestimating the plan, Skipper.Skipper: It's okay, Kowalski. Just don't ever doubt me again. Now, what the heck is going on?!Classified: Remain calm, penguins. You are now under the protection of the North Wind. You're welcome.Corporal: Oh my gosh. You guys are so cute. You guys are just so, so cute! And cuddly.Skipper: Hey, get away! No more hugs!Corporal: It's like being licked by a basket full of puppy dogs.Classified: Corporal! Corporal! Chart a course back to North Wind headquarters. Eva, inform them that we're bringing in witnesses.Skipper: Private, Dibble me. We're not going anywhere with you. We don't even know who the heck you are.Classified: The North e the sheep.A sheep is kicked out of a North Wind barn.Classified: What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called the "Medusa Serum."Skipper: Ah, but what you don't know is that Dirk...Kowalski: Dave.Skipper: Dave won't be using his Bazooka Serum...Kowalski: Medusa Serum.Skipper: Medusa Serum on anybody.Kowalski: That part is accurate.Skipper: Show him, Rico.Rico spits out the vial containing the Medusa Serum.Classified: You... you stole the Medusa Serum.Skipper: Well, stole the serum, saved the day, did your job for you. Call it what you will.Suddenly, the screen goes on, revealing Dave.Skipper: Debbie!Kowalski: Dave.Skipper: Dave!Corporal: He hacked into our system.There's no sound on-screen as Dave speaks.Eva: Where's the sound?Kowalski: Dave, your microphone, it's not on.Classified: Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.Short Fuse: Every time a villain calls in, this happens.Dave: Hello?[the screen goes off]Dave: Hello?Kowalski: Well, now we can hear you.Short Fuse: So annoying!Kowalski: But we cannot see you.Short Fuse: Every time!Classified: It's like talking to my parents.Dave: How about now? [comes back on-screen]Everyone cheers in agreement.Private: Hurray!Corporal: Great!Classified: Yes! We've got you. That's fantastic.Dave: Excellent! Now, where was I? [starts doing an evil laugh]Kowalski: Dave!Short Fuse growls.Dave: Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo mates.Skipper: We were never mates. There was no mating.Classified: Turn in yourself, David. You're powerless now that I've stolen you precious Medusa Serum.Skipper: What? You? You didn't steal that!Classified: It's over.Dave: It's over? Then why did I call you? Weird. Oh, maybe it was to show you this!As soon as Dave turns the camera to show them a giant vial containing the Medusa Serum, everyone gasps in shock.Kowalski: That is a lot of serum for four penguins.Dave: Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No. No, no, no, no. We're just getting started.Dave takes a selfie with a camera.Dave: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... for revenge!Dave presses the button to turn off the screen but nothing happens. He presses it again but still nothing happens.Dave: Wait. How do you...?Dave turns to his octopus thugs for help.Dave: What do I push? Is it the red? Or... I thought it was...it's not this...Dave presses something and the screen goes blank. The picture of Dave in front of the serum comes out of the printer. Then an alarm starts blaring.Eva: Incoming alert.Classified: Put it on the screen.Eva: The Berlin Zoo... 15 penguins missing.Private: Dave's kidnapping other penguins!Corporal: No doubt cute and cuddly.Classified and Skipper: We have to move! What?Classified [simultaneously with Skipper]: Time for our A-game.Skipper [simultaneously with Classified]: Everybody, huddle up.Classified: Corporal, ready the jet. I'm initiating North Wind Protocol Zeta.Eva: 12 more penguins taken from London Zoo.Skipper: Okay, boys, this is it. The mission we've been preparing for our entire lives. We're gonna take down Dave or die trying. Kowalski, cancel our improv class!Kowalski: Yes, sir.Skipper: Rico, equipify.Rico: Hai!Skipper: Private, do that little thing I like.Private salutes while making a silly face.Skipper: It's still funny.Kowalski: Skipper, good news. I got them to credit our class.Corporal: Sir, the jet is ready.Skipper: Oh, yeah, baby! Just like Super Bowl 19!Private: Whee!Short Fuse: They're stealing my stuff!Rico swallows a missile.Classified: No! This mission has no place for a pathetic waddle of useless penguins!Skipper: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are you calling pathetic?Classified: Enough!Classified bangs the table, causing Rico to spit out the missile which destroys the jet.Skipper: See, Rico, that's why you can't have nice things.Classified starts hitting the penguins with tranquilizer darts, rendering them unconscious.Private: Ooh!Kowalski: You know, [dart hits him] hoo… I'm pretty good with computers myself.Corporal puts the sleeping penguins in a small cardboard box.Short Fuse: Put on your jammies, penguin.Corporal: Aw…Eva: They are even e where he will have has been next.Rico starts gagging.Skipper: Wait, what is it, Rico? It's a book! It's a film! It's a play! First word. Two syllables. Sounds like “huyh”... Sounds like "huuh"? Sounds like "hyech!" What starts with "hyech"?Rico spits out Dave's Shanghai snow globe.Skipper: Shanghai.Kowalski: Dave hasn't been there yet, Skipper. If we hurry, we can still stop him.Skipper: Nice work, Rico. Pack your bagpipes, boys. It's time to blow this potato stand. So this is it. Shanghai's famous Little Dublin district.Private: Skipper, look!Skipper: I see you, Private. Who's the big boy standing on his tippy-toes?Private: Wha...? No, I mean...Skipper: I just want to eat you up.Kowalski: Skipper, look! Above Private! Dave's next target... Shanghai's famous mermaid penguins.Skipper: Good eye, Kowalski. And once again, you've proved that you are a meaningful and valued member of this team.Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Shanghai Marine World is pleased to present our world-famous Mermaid Penguins! Tonight, our mermaids dedicate their performance to all the missing penguins around the world. Stay safe, little guys, wherever you are. And we hope you come home real soon.Skipper: Keep those eyes roving, boys. Dave is a master of disguise. He could be a small child, a house plant, maybe even you or me! Is it you, Kowalski?Kid: Hey, hold on. Huh? Ha!Skipper: Wait a minute. Bingo! Nice try, Dave! Operation Flash, Splash and Crash is a go!Kowalski: Splendid!Skipper: Take positions.Announcer: Penguin feeding time will begin in two minutes.Skipper: Target, 30 yards and closing.Kowalski: In position, Skipper.Skipper: Rico, report.Rico: In position.Skipper: For you, Private.Private: Yes, Skipper!Skipper: Here's your mermaid costume.Private: What?Skipper: We need a diversion. And, frankly, you're the only one who can pull off that look.Private: But I can do more, Skipper. I want to help the team. Really help the team. If you think I'm ready, which I am. Assuming you agree. And perhaps even... if you don't?Skipper: I like the moxie, soldier, but right now, I need a tail on that tush and the cutest smile you've got. You trust me, soldier?Private: Aye, aye, Skipper.Man: Hey, it's feeding time!Skipper: Target, ten yards from flashpoint. Private, you're up. You just mermaid my day. Flash is a go!Boy:Look, they let one of the mermaids out of the tank!Woman: Oh, she's so cute.Kid: It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.Skipper: Shields up! Target is stunned. Rico, bring the Splash.Rico: Yeah!Dr. Octavius Brine: Huh?Marine Worker: Oh, what are you .Eva: this, penguins. Somebody call... the exterminators! And when the exterminators take you away, you never come back.Private: Oh, dear. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What do I do? What do I do? Crikey! Come on, then. You wanna go? You want some argy-bargy? AAAAHHH!!!He courageously charges at the octopi like a warrior, much to their surprise.Private: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Ow.Dr. Octavius Brine: Uh-oh. Missed one. What a wonderful day in the park.Private: Skipper! Wait! Hold on! What are you doing?! Skipper! Don't eat that! Skipper, listen. It's me, Private. I've got a plan, but I need your help. I need my Skipper.Skipper: Private?Private: Yes. That's it.Skipper: Private, you're alive! Oh, God! Kowalski! You've got to get a grip!Private: Kowalski, Eva is worried about you.Kowalski: She is? What did she say? Did she say my name specifically? I mean, were there... were there tears? Details, come on, tell me! Private! You're alive. Come here. This feels a little awkward, but I'm happy.Skipper: Rico! You need to listen to us. I guess you're kind of the same either way.Rico: Private!Skipper: Heads up! Looks like we're back in business, boys. And our business is saving penguin-kind. Who's with me?Kowalski: Count me in.Private: Let's do this!Kowalski: Boo-hah!Private: Yeah!Kowalski: Let's create and feel momentum. Sir, how long do we stand here like this?Skipper: Until we've reached maximum coolness.The camera keeps circling until it's shot at Skipper, who smiles with confidence.Skipper: There it is. Now all we need is! We're doing this NOW!Skipper: You heard Private! Deploy! Aah!Kowalski: Get back, you aquatic savages!Private: Behind you! Beside you! Six o'clock! Twelve o'clock! They're coming from every direction!Kowalski: There's just too many of them!Kowalski: Whoa.Private: You came eels right!Private: I think I'd actually prefer a jet pack, please.Skipper: Ooh! I think we should go with Private's idea.Kowalski: Yeah!Skipper: Kowalski! What's our trajectory?Kowalski: 95% certain this will end in massive... flaming disaster!Skipper: And the other five percent?Kowalski: Irrelevant, sir! Jet packs are awesome!Skipper: Agreed!Private: Who says penguins can't fly?Skipper: Yee-haw! Boo-yah!Private: Um… Skipper, we are going to turn me back to normal, right?Skipper: Absolutely. First thing Monday.Mort: Whee! I'm in a rocket ship!King Julien: I want to push the button.Kowalski: Give me that!King Julien: Hey! Stealer!Private: Let's do this! I'm ready!King Julien: Okay, on three. One, three, go. I'm just gonna do a little practice push. Okay, I'm not going to press it. Why are you smacking my hand? Hey, look over there!Mort: I'm a laser show. Shoot, shoot!Kowalski: Julien!Private: Hey!Skipper: Now, that's the Private we know and love. High one!Kowalski: Immeasurable cuteness, right there!Private: Good to be back.Mort: I feel like a French fry! I'm okay!Skipper: And with cuteness to spare! Come on! Frosty mugs of herring juice all around! Private's buying.Private: What?King Julien: What? You know, if I'm being honest, I expected a little more... pizzazz!(Mort swallows Julien whole.)King Julien: Yes! Now, that's pizzazz!
 
For further info highlighting the dangers of this unhealthy relationship, please read the following...

Anneliese: What would it be like to be... Free

Erika: Free

Anneliese: Free to try crazy things.

Erika: Free from endless IOU's.

Anneliese: Free to fly

Erika: Free to sing

Anneliese: And marry whom I choose...

Queen Genevieve: I'm so sorry, my darling, but as you know, it is vital you marry King Dominick. It is the only way to take care of our people.

Anneliese: I know, it's my duty.

Queen Genevieve: Oh, and look! Another engagement gift!

Anneliese: You would think that I'm so lucky that I have so many things. I'm realizing that every present comes with strings.

Erika: Though I know I have so little, my determination's strong. People will gather around the world to hear my song.

Bertie: Can I come along?

Anneliese: Now I fear I'll never be...

Erika: Soon I will forever be...

Anneliese&Erika: Free!

Anneliese: I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away...

Erika: I could take flight but would it be right? My conscience tells me stay.

Anneliese: I'll remain forever royal.

Erika: I'll repay my parent's debt.

Anneliese & Erika: Duty means doing the things your heart may well regret.

Anneliese: But I'll never stop believing.

Erika: She can never stop my schemes.

Anneliese & Erika: There's more to living than gloves and gowns and threads and seams. In my dreams, I'll be free!

--

Nack: Ok, what idiot put this in here?

Nick: Oh, that would be me.

Nack: Let us review, shall we? We are stealing gold! Is this shiny?

Nick: No.

Nack: Valuable?

Nick: No.

Nack: Gonna make the boss happy?

Nick: No.

Nack: Focus, Nick. That's what you need. That and a break. Shh!!!

Preminger: Why, hello.

Nick: Master Preminger, you're back... here... early. Hope you had a nice journey.

Midas: (Barks)

Nack: Here you are, sir. The last of the gold from the Royal Mine. There's nothing left.

Nick: Yeah, 'cos it's all yours!

Preminger: Yes, it is, very much mine. Finally!

Preminger: I've been bowing, I've been scraping, I've been lying like a rug. And for ten long years I've had to pay my dues.

But today I am escaping, for the last gold has been dug. It was waiting there, so how could I refuse?

I'm returning home a hero who's discovered mighty wealth, and what better husband could a Princess choose?

I'm the suitor who will suit her, bring the kingdom back to health, and I'll wear the crown, for how could I refuse?

Raise every glass and rouse every cheer! Praise that the reign of Preminger is here! Master in charge of all that I see, All hail me!

And by marrying the princess I get all that I desire. Like a moat, an ermine coat and palace views. Even though she treats me coldly, it's a sign of inner fire. For inside she's thinking "How can I refuse?"

Nack: Right, except for this one little problem, Boss.

Preminger: That's Prince Boss to you!

Nack: Right, and the queen decided to marry her off to the king of Dulcenia next week.

Preminger: What?! Making a decision without me? Who does she think she is?

Nick: Uh, the queen?

Preminger: You simpering simpleton!

Nick: Well, she is the queen! She's got a crown, a scepter, and sits in her great big fancy chair... and those...

Preminger: Silencio!

Preminger: No! I won't let go! This peasant's son won't turn and run because some reckless royal chose another beau! Ahh! It's... a... Temporary setback!

It's a momentary loss. But conveniently my ego doesn't bruise. And the moment that I get back, I will show them who's the boss. You can bet your bullion, there'll be no "I do"'s.

Yes, suppose the girl goes missing. So the king says "au revoir". Then I find her, bring her back, and make the news. Then the queen will be so grateful, that she'll pledge the heir to moi.

And I'll humbly tell her "How can I refuse?"

When our ceremony's over, I'll arise and take the throne. And that nitwit Anneliese can kiss my shoes. For the kingdom and the castle will be mine and mine alone. If the crown should fit then how can I refuse?

Preminger (Nack and Nick): So... get.. ready with the roses and stand by with the champagne. When you've got a brilliant plan you never lose. Yes before the chapter closes. I'll be as big as Charlemagne.

It's a thankless job... but How can I refuse?

How can I refuse?

Preminger: (Evil laugh)

--

Midas: Enjoy it now, sister, 'cos it ain't gonna be yours much longer.

Serafina: Oh, please, having delusions again, Midas?

Midas: Let's just say the throne's gonna belong to my master, Preminger, and anything belonging to him ergo and ipso facto, belongs to me.

Midas: (Barks)

Serafina: (Meows) You lose a tooth, Midas?

Midas: My tooth? No, no, not my tooth! Ah you better hope you got 9 lives, Serafina! 'Cos you're gonna need 'em all!

--

Ambassador Bismark: I am Ambassador Bismark, here by invitation of the queen. King Dominick, you are quite sure about this?

King Dominick: I am.

Anneliese: Come in! Julian, perfect timing. I classified this as iron pyrite. Pretty, but not considered valuable. Commonly known as "fools gold".

Julian: Well done, your highness.

Anneliese: Your highness? Why the sudden formality? It's just me.

Julian: The queen sent me. Apparently the ambassador has arrived with a gift for you.

Anneliese: The ambassador? He's here already?

King Dominick: On behalf of King Dominick... I present this engagement gift to you.

Queen Genevieve: Oh! Thank you, ambassador! Princess Anneliese will be quite pleased.

Ambassador Bismark: May I enquire, Your Excellency, if you've set a date for the wedding?

Queen Genevieve: Will a week from today do?

Preminger: Ah! Next week? A most wise and thoughtful decision, Your Majesty.

Ambassador Bismark: Excellent. I will... er, send for King Dominick, so that he may meet his new bride.

Anneliese: So happy. Free to do whatever they want. What do you think King Dominick will be like?

Julian: Oh I'm sure he'll be... suitable.

Anneliese: Oh, I know it's the right thing to marry him, but sometimes I wish... well...

Julian: Apparently he's a lover of music. He plays 3 different instruments. The dulcimer, the trumpet, and the piano. Anneliese... you're going to need your cape.

Anneliese: I am? Why?

Julian: There's nothing like some fresh air and a change of scenery.

Anneliese: I wish it were that simple. Come on, Serafina. Ah, it feels so good to be outside the castle walls. Nobody knows who I am. So, which one was your house?

Julian: More of a room, really. We couldn't afford a house.

Anneliese: Oh, I didn't mean...

Julian: I know. Third floor on the left. Did all my studies there.

Julian: A perfect example of 'rosa centifolia'.

Anneliese: My favorite! But, you knew that.

Anneliese: Mmm, that smells delicous.

Julian: I'll be right back.

Erika: Like a bird that flies in the morning light. Or a butterfly in the spring. When your spirit rides on the wings of hope, You'll find your wings.

Anneliese: Let's go listen, Serafina.

Erika: For you're always free to begin again. And you're always free to believe. When you find your place that your heart belongs-

Madame Carp: Caroling?

Erika: Madame Carp! Wait, I earned that!

Madame Carp: And you owe me. Did you really think you could make a living as a singer? Get back to work, girl, or there'll be trouble.

Anneliese: What a beautiful song.

Erika: Thanks. My mom taught it... to... me.

Erika: Whoa

Anneliese: We could be sisters.

Erika & Anneliese: What's your name?

Erika:You first.

Anneliese: Please, call me Anneliese.

Erika: Anneliese? You have the same name as the princess.

Anneliese: Well...

Erika: Oh. I'm Erika, Your Highness. Aren't you supposed to be inside the castle?

Anneliese: I'm savoring a first and last taste of freedom before getting married next week... to a total stranger.

Erika: At least you're not an indentured servant.

Anneliese: Indentured servant?

Erika: If I'd like to have my breakfast hot, Madame Carp will make me pay. And I have to fetch the eggs myself and the barn's a mile away.

It's cold and wet and still I get an omelette on my plate, but in my head I'm back in bed snuggled up and sleeping late

Anneliese: Really?

Erika: Really, but it's alright. I mean, I'm used to it. And you?

Anneliese: Well...

Erika: Well?

Anneliese: If I want some eggs I ring the bell and the maid comes running in. And she serves them on a silver tray and she brings a cookie tin.

And while I eat, she rubs my feet and strolling minstrels play. But I'd rather be in my library reading science books all day.

Erika: I'm just like you

Anneliese: You are?

Erika: You're just like me. There's somewhere else we'd rather be. Somewhere that's ours, somewhere that dreams come true. Yes, I am a girl like you.

You'd never think that it was so, but now I've met you and I know. It's plain as day, sure as the sky is blue, that I am a girl like you.

Anneliese: So! You're a singer?

Erika: No, I work at Madame Carp's penitentiary. Uh, I mean Dress Emporium.

Anneliese: I love Madame Carp's Dresses!

Erika: I made the one you're wearing.

Anneliese: You made this? It's my favorite. The design looks so complicated!

Erika: Oh, but it isn't, really...

First I choose a fabric from the rack and I pin the pattern down. And I stitch it in the front and back and it turns into a gown.

Anneliese: I wear the gown, without my crown and dance around my room.

Anneliese & Erika: And imagine life without the strife of an unfamiliar groom.

Anneliese: But I'd never let my Mother know. I wouldn't want to disappoint her.

Erika: I completely understand.

Anneliese: I'm just like you

Erika: I think that's true

Anneliese: You're just like me

Erika: Yes, I can see

Anneliese & Erika: We take responsibility.

Erika: We carry through.

Anneliese: We carry through.

Anneliese & Erika: Do what we need to do. Yes, I am a girl like you

Erika: I'm just like you

Anneliese: I'm just like you

Erika: You're just like me

Anneliese: You're just like me

Anneliese & Erika: It's something anyone can see

Erika: A heart that beats

Anneliese: A heart that beats

Anneliese & Erika: A voice that speaks the truth. Yes, I am a girl like you.

Erika: It's amazing! Except for our hair.

Anneliese: We could be twins!

Erika & Anneliese: (laughs)

Anneliese: What about this birthmark?

Erika: Hm, no, I guess not.

Julian: Here, Your Highness.

Erika & Anneliese: (laughs)

Julian: It's... uncanny.

Midas: (barks at Serafina)

Serafina: (Meows)

Anneliese: Serafina!

Wolfie: (Barks)

Erika: Wolfie!

Midas: Look who's a long way from the Palace!

Serafina: Don't get any ideas, Midas. I don't get these nails filed for nothing.

Midas: I'll take my chances.

Wolfie: (Growls) I'm warning you, leave her alone!

Midas: Heh! Or you'll do what? Spit a hairball at me?

Wolfie: (Barks)

Serafina: Quite a big bark you have there, Rover!

Wolfie: Uh, it's uh, Wolfie. Not Rover.

Serafina: Well, thank you Wolfie, not Rover. My name's Serafina.

Wolfie: Uh, I haven't seen you around here before.

Serafina: I don't think we run in the same circles, but... perhaps we can change that.

Erika & Anneliese: There you are.

Anneliese: Did I just hear your cat bark?

Erika: He has a style all his own.

Julian: I'm sorry, Your Highness, we should be getting back.

Anneliese: One day you must sing for us at the Palace,

Erika: Really?

Anneliese: I'll send someone for you.

Erika: I'll be at Madame Carp's.

Anneliese: Goodbye, Erika! I won't forget.

Erika: Goodbye! Come on, Wolfie. Wolfie? Cat got your tongue? Come on, boy.

--

Serafina: I may be dainty, but I'm still a feline!

Nick: We did it! Let's go.

Nack: Come here, Nick. Our job is to capture the princess... not her cat!

Nick: Right. What'd we get the cat for?

Nack: Allow me to demonstrate, dimwit.

Serafina: (Meows)

Anneliese: Serafina? Serafina, where are you? Serafina, come here girl, come here kitty!

Serafina? (Gasps)

Serafina: Well! That certainly wasn't called for.

Hervé: Ooo, are you okay?

Serafina: No, I am not okay! My Mistress is inside with two hooligans, and I've got dirt... dirt on my bum! Who are you?

Hervé: Hervé.

Serafina: Nice to meet you, Hervé. I'm Serafina.

Anneliese: I command you to unlock this door!

Nick: Yes, Your Highness!

Nack: (mimicking) Yes, Your Highness! We're in charge here!

Nick: Right. I knew that!

Serafina: I can't believe they won't let me in there. My princess needs me.

Hervé: I'm sure the boss will let her out.

Serafina: What boss?

Hervé: That boss!

Nack: Signed, sealed, and delivered Master Preminger!

Preminger: Does she know I'm behind this?

Nack: No idea.

Preminger: Good! Keep her here until the wedding to King Dominick is cancelled.

Serafina: (Gasps)

Preminger: Then we'll see who the princess marries!

Serafina: Oh, he is nasty! Just like his dog. Think you could get me up to the roof?

Hervé: I do not know. It is pretty high up.

Serafina: You can do this! Trust me, Hervé. Just count to three.

Hervé: Un, deux, troi-AHHHHH!!!

Serafina: Thank you, Hervé. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do!

Anneliese: Serafina?

Serafina: I am simply not going to look at myself.
 

WARNING:

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS GRAPHIC CONTENT REGARDING THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF FICTONS AND XPUMAX. PLEASE SKIP IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO HEAVY TOPICS.


CLINT BARTON: Okay, hold on. Don't shoot. You see where you're going?

LILA BARTON: Mhm.

CLINT BARTON: Okay, now let's worry about how you get there. [Clint corrects his daughter's foot to the proper position, and adjusts her shooting stance.]

CLINT BARTON: Here. Can you see?

LILA BARTON: Yeah.

CLINT BARTON: You sure?

LILA BARTON: Mhm. [Clint pushes Lila's hair in front of her face while covering her left eye.]

CLINT BARTON: How about now?

[Both Lila and Clint giggle, as the camera panels into a long shot showing a target nailed on a tree, and the rest of Barton family having a picnic in the field.]

CLINT BARTON: Alright. Ready your fingers.

COOPER BARTON: Nice.

LAURA BARTON: Nice throw, kiddo.

COOPER BARTON: You go.

LAURA BARTON: Hey, you guys want mayo or mustard, or both? [Camera switches to Lila who then proceeds to look at Clint.]

LILA BARTON: Who wants mayo on a hotdog?

CLINT BARTON: Probably your brothers.

[Clint looks at his wife, Laura]

CLINT BARTON: Uh, two mustard, please! Thanks, mama. [Camera switches to Laura facing Nathaniel]

LAURA BARTON: Mayo or mustard?

NATHANIEL BARTON: How about ketchup?

LAURA BARTON: Ketchup? [Camera switches back to Clint and his daughter] I can do ketchup.

CLINT BARTON: Mind your elbow. [Lila releases the arrow and it hits the target directly in the bullseye.] Hahaha! Good job, Hawkeye. Go get your arrow.

LAURA BARTON: Hey guys! Enough practice, soup's on!

CLINT BARTON: Alright, we're coming; we're hungry. [Clint looks behind him, but there's no one there, but dust being blown away by the wind.] Lila, let's go. [Clint starts to look around] Lila? [Clint starts to move and look around, and pick up the bow she had.] Honey? [Clint looks around to see Laura and the boys, only they are gone now. He looks seriously panicked and confused as he hurriedly drops the arrows and jogs over to where they were.] Hey, babe! Babe? Babe? Boys? Boys? Laura?

[Lightning crackles]
 
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