I've checked out 1picks server and its def doing very well, but its important to remember a couple key differences.
Invaded has a relatively large playerbase, and so where smaller servers may be able to stop their servers to roll out updates, invaded usually waits until scheduled downtime. They also have tons of players reporting bugs. Their bug reports are constantly full of things that need to be fixed, and so much of neon's time goes to fixing bugs as well not rolling out updates.
They also receive a ton of applications, suggestions, questions, appeals, etc that staff members have to deal with. I agree it could be better, but they are all doing things behind the scenes and i think we just don't see it as much so it is easy to think they aren't doing anything.
In terms of updates and stuff I personally thing the best thing for them to do is hire a new Dev Trainee who can fix some of the simple things so neon can devote his time to the more complex stuff. Like 95% of the bug reports he does are all like config fixes or very simple java stuff that just about anyone could do, so I think they should look into something like that to give neon more time to roll out updates.
Also, I know you don't like the excuse that they all have lives but its true, most of them are in school and they are all doing this as volunteers.